A Subconscious Ally

I never realized who I was to my friends and family until they told me. They showed me my actions through their lenses. I never understood the impact my wave made before this.

I subconsciously became an ally, which is someone who speaks up and advocates for those who face discrimination.

I started this journey by doing something so simple—sitting and listening to my friends. Just like in any close relationship, they shared their hardships with me. As someone in a privileged position, I could never imagine what they were experiencing, and what they continue to experience. I didn’t pretend to understand. I listened with the intention of learning and supporting.

Once I became knowledgeable about the adversity they face, I became more aware of it within my surroundings. I would notice the micro-aggressive comments, the dirty looks, and the outright hatred being spewed at them daily. Before, I would have just walked by and not blinked twice. This didn’t mean I was a bad person—just naïve. However, it is my personal responsibility to become more aware of the diverse population that surrounds me.

Then I began to observe the torment from a third party perspective, and I could identify the injustice easily. It stuck out like a sore thumb. I knew I needed to take action. It started with correcting people in conversation, to make them aware of their closed minded comments. Then, it grew to a much larger scale.

I decided to join a committee to assist in educating friends, faculty, and staff in 4-H about the LGBTQ+ community. I did so in order to learn more about how to best advocate for this group and support my friends; so together we can fight to have equal rights. I also wanted to create a safe space for them to connect with others dealing with similar difficulties. This led to the creation of the Ohio 4-H LGBTQ+ Summit.

It is one thing to self-identify as an ally, and another to be given the name. You have to walk the talk and be willing to be uncomfortable at times. The second it takes you to speak up, which often be easier for someone not directly in the situation, can make a big difference. You never know who is listening and the impact you will leave.

Placing a sticker on your door identifying you as a safe person is a wonderful first step. But, what will you do after to create this inclusive environment? Will you make efforts to reach out to others to check in? Will you be an advocate? Will you correct someone’s nasty comment? Will you create programming specific to the needs of minorities?

I challenge you to view your actions from the point of view of a stranger. Are you proud of what you see? What will your wave say about you?

Published: https://4-h.org/about/blog/youth-voices-the-wave-of-a-subconscious-ally/